December catch up

We had such a busy and FUN December. We were tired of the cold and snow in Rexburg so Carter and I headed to California for a few days while Skyler finished up his semester. We had lots of fun hanging out with my family, eating at my FAVE willy's, and of course my mom had her annual soup party when we were in town.From Brentwood we drove down to LA for my Best Friend Jennie's wedding. The wedding was absolutely FABULOUS! Beautiful and so much fun. I am so glad I got to be there to see my sweet Jennie sealed to her amazing husband Ar bear.After the wedding Carter and I flew to Dallas and met Skyler and his brother Ladd at the airport, then headed to Nana and Poopaws for Christmas. I love Texas and I had so much fun being with all his family. Everyone was there [except Zach who is on a misson] and it was a house full of lots of fun. Carter loved all the kids and literaly ran around all day and didn't want to be held for a second.Now we are finally back home and back to real life. Skyler is about to start his second to last semester at school. We are trying to enjoy the last few months in Rexburg because we have no idea what life has in store for us when he graduates. 2010 was an awesome year and we can't wait to see what 2011 and in store for us.With this CUTEST smiling face I know that it will be the best one yet!

Trials.

A few weeks before Carters first birthday I found out I was pregnant. I, we, were ecstatic. I have always wanted my first 2 kids to be close in age. We did the math and Baby #2 and Carter were going to be 20 months apart, perfect. The baby was due in July, right after Skyler's college graduation, PERFECT!! Everything was just absolutely perfect. I was so excited and wanted to tell everyone but this time around Skyler wanted to wait. We went to California for thanksgiving and I kept my little bundle of joy a secret even though I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

The day we got back I started cramping...I knew it was weird because that never happened with Carter but after some research concluded that it was normal and I was probably fine. A few days later I noticed blood and knew that was not normal and started to worry. I tried to ignore it but it consumed my thoughts for 2 days so I decided I needed to go to my doctor. My doctor told me that many women spot during pregnancy so I should be fine but he would run a routine ultrasound just to check. I was very relieved and couldn't wait to see my little baby. I called up Skyler and he came in to share the joy. The doctor performed a normal ultrasound and found nothing. I started to worry but the doctor told me that it's just early and needed to do an internal ultrasound. The doctor started the second ultrasound and I was staring at the screen. I wanted to see my little baby moving and its little heart beating more than anything in the world. After what seemed like forever the doctor broke the news to me that my baby was no longer viable. My heart broke, I have never felt anything like it in my life. I felt like I would never get over this. I felt mad. I felt sad. I felt frustrated, i never got to find out if i was having a boy or girl. I have always felt like being a mom is what I am supposed to do. I love it, I love everything about it. I have never been happier having a loving husband and an adorable, completely perfect in my eyes son. Why would heavenly father give me a baby and then take it away before I even got to hold it? I cried and cried, for days and days. People told me I could just have another but I didn't even want to think about another. I wanted the one I had just lost. I wanted THAT baby and nothing could replace it.

As the days have gone by I have been getting better. Skyler and Carter bring me so much joy and I am so blessed to have both of them. I need to be grateful for what I have. I KNOW heavenly father will bless me with more kids, I KNOW I am supposed to be a mom. I feel it with everything in me. I will never forget my baby that I lost but I know my heart will heal in time. Miscarriage is the hardest thing I have EVER been through but I know I can do it. Heavenly father would never give me more than I could handle. I know that if me and my little family have faith we will get through this and anything else life will throw at us.
I am not usually one who likes to talk openly about my problems but I felt the urge to write about this. I hope my story will comfort someone who maybe is or will go through a similar situation comforting.

partyy!

While we were in California for Thanksgiving we had a first birthday party for Carter. He LOVED all the attention, cake, and presents.

Carter was not down to take pictures, he just wanted his cake.
handmade by skyler and I. I was very proud.How my poor baby spent his actual birthday. Sick, in jammies, cuddling with his momma all day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARTER!!

Today Carter turns one. Very bitter sweet. I wish time would slow down. I love being a mom more than anything in the whole world and Carter has truly showed me joy. He laughs with me every day, and makes me smile exactly when I need it. He is my little buddy, we do everything together. Since the day he was born he has made me happy and that happiness has grown everyday. On his first birthday Carter:

Height: 31 inches (90%)
Weight: 21 lbs. 0 oz. (20%)

Has 4 teeth.
Claps and waves when he hears the words.
Has the cutest red hair I have ever seen.
Gets around everywhere by walking, or running.
Dances when he hears a good beat.
Yells at the baby in mirror, every time he see's him.
Laughs at everything mommy and daddy says to him.
Loves to play with anything he is not supposed to.
Drinks whole milk and eats everything mama and dada does.
Says: mama, dada, hi dad, oh no, oh yea, no no, ball, hi, baba, kitty.
Entertains himself very well on long roadtrips.
Smiles and laughs all day long.
Can mess up the whole house in about 10 minutes.
Has waaaay too many toys!
Loves watching Mickey Mouse.
Loves to help mama cook, clean, do laundry, ect.
Is the ABSOLUTE best blessing we have ever received.
We love you SO MUCH Carter, being your mama is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We are so proud to call you our own!!!

clone baby...

1 year old!

Today I got Carters ONE year old pictures. I seriously can't believe that he is really turning one this month [more on this coming soon in a really sappy post]! I am so excited with how the pictures turned out...enjoy.

Halloween

My mom is obsessed with making halloween costumes. Every year we would throw the weirdest idea's at her and she would always come through with an amazing costume. I wish I had pictures as evidence but just imagine a killer tomato....classic. When I had Carter one of the first things my mom mentioned was how excited she was to start making Halloween costumes again. This year we decided Carter would be a lion and it was legit the cutest costume ever. My mom also made skyler and I costumes, cave people. [I don't have a picture of just Skyler and I cause let's get real...once you have a kid no one cares about the parents anymore.] We had a very fun Halloween weekend and took advantage of lots of fun parties and of course took our little lion door to door.

fall

I am obsessed with fall this year because fall colors match Carters cute hair PERFECTLY! So I took Carter out and unsuccessfully tried to take cute fall pictures. I could not get my super smiley baby to smile for the life of me. After a half hour of trying I gave up and ended up with these.

quick trip to utah

My friend from utah came up to Rexburg to visit for the day and was planning to come back 2 days later to stay the weekend. She asked if I wanted to go back to utah with her for a day, and Carter and I jumped on the opportunity.While we were in utah we... shoppedate alot of thesevisited with friends

and shopped some more. Sounds like a perfect trip to me...[minus the fact that Carter had a hard time sleeping without his normal routine and a crib so I was up all night.] We were glad we got to go down and spend some time with people we love but were ready to get back to our regular routine and of course, daddy!

Carter's first steps!

Today Carter took his very first steps. He just let go of the couch and walked to his toy that was about 5 steps away. We were skyping with my parents so they got to see it too! We scared the poor little guy cause we freaked out, clapping and shouting for him. Those first steps were all he needed to give him the confidence to keep taking steps all night long. I can't believe that at 10 months my baby is walking. I think my heart grows a little more everyday I spend with him.

Carter with a comb over

Obviously he wasn't a big fan....

just like mama

When I was 16 I got my first job. At the time it was my dream job, I absolutely LOVED it, everything about it. I was one of the firsts hired to open a jamba juice in Brentwood and got a bunch of my friends on board. Me and my friends worked together making smoothies and drinking our weight worth everyday. I loved it, we all loved it. I worked there until the day I went off to college, I even went back to working there on breaks from school. Though I do miss the free smoothies and baked goods I love my job as a mommy 1000x more. Last week I drove by jamba and just couldn't resist going and taking a little walk down memory lane. I got my favorite smoothie and gave Carter a sip...that was the moment I was done for, he loved it..literally acting like he was going to die if the straw was not in his mouth. I was proud and thought to myself, just like mama, until I realized that they are 4 bucks each and was not down to constantly buy my boy smoothies. So we went to the store and bought our ingrediants. EVERYDAY since I have made my boy a smoothie out of strawberries/peaches, yogurt, fruit juice and a little ice. It is a great way for him to get his fruit and dairy for the day. He drinks the thing till it is empty and loves every moment of it. I love my little smoothie loving boy!Also, Carter's third tooth broke today, the top right. At this point it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to get a picture of it but maybe I will sneak one when he is sleeping or something. Stay tuned...

Bye bye baby seat!

Today Carter said bye bye to his baby car seat and hello to a big boy one.My poor boy had COMPLETELY grown out of his baby one and was sticking out on both ends. I couldn't pull those straps any looser and we were both over it. So I ordered him and big boy one and he LOVES it. The minute I put him in it he yelled out "EEEEEEEE" with excitement. I love it because I have him in the middle seat so I can see him as I drive and hand him something if I need to. He talked to me the whole drive and enjoyed being forward facing for his first time. I might have cried a little thinking how big my boy is.and of course one of the best parts about getting a new car seat is playing in the box.

ohh no!

A few weeks ago Carter discovered the toilet paper and I can't keep him away from it. He absolutely loves sitting there and emptying the entire roll of toilet paper onto the floor. He then loves ripping it apart into many MANY pieces. He looks so dang cute doing I can't even think about being mad about it.

my good little eater

For the past few weeks Carter has been eating everything that mama and dada eat. I wasn't sure about it at first but our doctor told us to do it so he learns that he eats we do and not his own special different food. I love it and he does too. I just chop up whatever we are eating and let him have at it. He eats 100X better than he ever did with baby food and he is sleeping much longer, 2, half hour naps a day has increased to 2, 2 hour naps....heaven! We love our good little eater!

happy birthday!!

This year for my birthday Skyler got me a bike! I LOVE IT!! I have wanted a bike for so long and now I finally have one. Skyler got a baby seat for it and Carter and I love going for bike rides when daddy is at work.Thank you Skyler, we love you!!